Dating a man with children can be tricky. Scheduling time alone
together, getting along with the kids and learning not to offer
parenting advice can be difficult. As a couple, many times you will not
be free to do as you wish and you have to be mature enough to understand
this. Dating a guy with kids is not for the faint-of-heart, although if
you truly love him and his kids, it can have a multitude of rewards.
Here are a few things you should know about dating a guy with kids.
When you first start dating a guy with kids, you will probably hear a
lot of negative comments from friends and family. They will discourage
you from becoming involved with him and tell you things like the kids
may not like you, you may have trouble with his ex, you'll never have
fun again or you are flat-out ruining your life. Listen, but don't let
their advice change your mind if you are truly committed to the
relationship. If all works out, his kids can bring great joy to your
life.
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Be flexible about your time together
When kids are involved, you never know when an emergency will arise,
so you can't always expect plans to go perfectly. Kids get sick,
babysitters aren't always available or school projects are suddenly due
tomorrow and dad has to help. If the mother is in the picture, there's
always the chance she can't take the kids as planned. Try to be flexible
about scheduling dates and understand that you won't always come first
because your guy has other responsibilities, too.
Bite your tongue about parenting advice
You may have different ideas on parenting than your man but unless he
asks for your advice, try to keep it to yourself. He and his ex are
responsible for raising their children and you could cause friction
between everyone if you tell him how to parent. Until you are involved
in the day-to-day raising of his children, keep your advice to yourself
unless asked.
Stay on friendly terms with his ex
If you interact at all with the children's mother, be cordial and try
to stay on good terms with her. You don't have to become best friends,
just be polite when you see her. If your relationship with him and the
children continues to grow, you will have to deal with the ex often so
staying on good terms will make life easier. If she dislikes you anyway,
just ignore her. Never talk about her in a negative way to the children
and just stay out of her way, if possible, to keep the peace.
Don't take it personally if his child dislikes you
You can be the nicest, coolest person on the planet, but if a child
decides he isn't going to like you, there is little you can do. Your
guy's child has probably experienced either the breakup of his parents
or of one or more of his father's girlfriends, so he may not want to get
close to you for a long time. Or he may see you as competition for his
own mother. Whatever the problem is, it is something the child needs to
resolve in his own time. Be polite to the child, don't get caught up in
his anger and just wait it out. He will probably come around eventually.
Suggest not meeting his kids for at least 6 months
When you get involved with a man with children, you are involved with
him and the children. Waiting to meet the children until after your
relationship together is strong is best. That way, if you both decide to
call it quits, the children haven't already become attached to you and
won't feel the pain of the breakup, too.
Single Parent Dating - South Africa
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If you are a single mother, you know how hard it can be to go through life alone with your children. Although it might not be a priority right away, eventually you will want to start dating and meeting men again. When you get back into the dating world, it is important that you follow these dating advice tips to make things go as smoothly as possible.
