Your Teenager - Should You Monitor Facebook Activities ?

Single Parent Dating - South Africa
Single Parent Dating UK
Single Parent Dating AUSTRALIA

Are you concerned about what your teen is doing on Facebook? Not sure how much you should check on their online life? It can be confusing figuring out how much freedom you should give your teen, especially when it comes to the Internet. It's important that you do not come across as the enemy, otherwise your teen will be likely to do whatever they want in spite of your instructions. Social media has firmly injected itself as an important part of your teenager's coming of age, and as such should be treated with the same respect and caution as other milestones.

Keep Your Teen Safe
It's important that you let your teen know that not everyone online, whether on Facebook or other social sites, are good people.  Of course the majority are but there are a number of predators that actively seek out younger, naive users. In addition, your teen should be warned against the risks of exposing too much information about themselves, whether it is details about their school, their phone number or even their address. Most teens have been only surrounded by good people in their lives and have no real reason to suspect strangers or people they meet online, so it's really important that you stress that they must keep their private information private.

How Much Time on Facebook
If left to their own devices teens will happily spend hours, or even days glued to Facebook. It is, after all, a modern day extension of their social lives and social lives are usually the center of a teenager's universe. When trying to set limits for your teenager's time on Facebook you will be almost always met with defiance; keeping up to date with their friends has become the social norm for many teens.
Depending on what kind of devices your teen has, they might be connected to Facebook all the time by way of their phone. This is much harder to monitor and limit, but you can make rules that their phone must not be brought to the dinner table and that they can't sleep with their phones. Find out what works for your family and be firm about the rules, setting up a Home Contract if you need to ensure your teenager's compliance.

Facebook Friends with Your Teen
Many parents struggle with the fact that their teen does not want to add them as a friend on Facebook - this is obviously because they do not want their parent to see what they are getting up to or posting on there. Some parents are okay, and are happy to accept that in ways Facebook is like a personal diary, something that a teen should be able to have as private.
Other parents are a lot more concerned about what their teens are doing and feel that they should not have a Facebook page if they are not prepared to leave it open. Obviously this is a personal decision, something that will be very much dependent on your family and the dynamic that will work best for you.

Mature Online Dating - UK
Mature Online Dating - South Africa
Single Parent Dating - UK 
Single Parent Dating - SA
Single Parent Dating - AUS
Christian Dating - SA
Black Dating - SA

After Infidelity Happens To You, Learn To Trust Again

After a relationship ends one of the most difficult challenges is to learn to trust again. Yes, certainly it's hard to trust another person again but that is only the half of it. More significantly it becomes difficult to trust one's Heart again.

Single Parent Dating - UK 
Single Parent Dating - SA
Single Parent Dating - AUS

You see many individuals believe that it was their decision to heed the pangs of love in their Heart that led them into that unfortunate relationship in the first place. The end result being heartache and disappointment. Like an emotional scar, not unlike a post traumatic situation, it becomes buried within and leads that individual to avoid anything that will cause the pain to re-emerge.  This however is tantamount to shutting down one's Heart and the feelings that emerge from there. I ask you to recall that the Heart is where one's passion for life lives, where one sources one's inner wisdom and most importantly where the Life Force or the Energy of Life enters the physical body. You will recall that when the Heart stops beating then a person is technically dead. It is the organ of Life.
So the consequence to shutting down the feelings in one's Heart is equivalent to suffocating the Life Force that lives inside you and which out of necessity must support you emotionally, mentally, physically and which is spirit itself.
So are you feeling like you're caught between a rock and a hard place i.e. between feeling the heart ache and choosing death? Well that's because that's exactly where you are! So is there a solution to your situation?  Yes!
The only way to end the pain of the Heartache and reclaim your life is to effectively "erase" the memory of it from your mind and body once and for all! This will not only open your Heart it will allow you to reconnect to its true message with great clarity.

Mature Online Dating - UK
Mature Online Dating - South Africa
Single Parent Dating - UK 
Single Parent Dating - SA
Single Parent Dating - AUS
Christian Dating - SA
Black Dating - SA

How To Be A Considerate Stepparent

Single Parent Dating - UK 
Single Parent Dating - SA
Single Parent Dating - AUS

4 Real Ways To Make It Work

Are you a stepparent? Are you struggling to make the right decisions for your newly created family? If so, here are four tips to help.

1. Give your blended family a chance to bond.
Don't worry if everyone doesn't settle in right away; bonding takes time. Hopefully, you all got to know each other before you moved in together, but the transition to living comfortably together can take time.

2. Have family meetings weekly.
Give everyone (kids, too) a chance to share how they feel, what they like and don't like, and ask them to share both positive and negative opinions. Invite suggestions about how to make things better. Shared times, such as mealtimes, are important -- but each person needs a break, too. Don't allow the schedule to be too busy -- plan some time off.

3. Get on the same parenting page.
Mom and Dad need to work out parenting methods, rewards, punishments, chores, allowances, bedtimes, homework, etc. Each of your single-parent families is unique, and everyone has to adjust to change. Transition is much easier if the parents are in agreement. If something happens you haven't discussed, just defer to one parent, and work it out later. If you allow the kids to create discord between you, they'll jump on it right away, and make your lives miserable.

4. If you have shared custody with one or more outside parents, resolve any conflicts with them right away.
Ex-spouse struggles can become disasters. You'll all be connected for life. Help the children transition from one household to another by a debriefing when they come home. "How was your visit?".  Then talk about the system at your house.

Mature Online Dating - UK
Mature Online Dating - South Africa
Single Parent Dating - UK 
Single Parent Dating - SA
Single Parent Dating - AUS
Christian Dating - SA
Black Dating - SA 

7 Critical Questions Stepdating Couples Should Consider and Ask Each Other

Single Parent Dating - South Africa
Single Parent Dating UK
Single Parent Dating AUSTRALIA
 
You have enjoyed the romance and the commitment between you and your companion is steadily deepening. You have now reached the point where the two of you begin talking about how you will introduce your children to your companion.  Are you a single parent getting married, a divorced mom getting remarried, or a widow with adult children? These 7 critical questions will help raise your awareness of the issues to consider.

The next 7 steps will set the tone for the relationship between your children and their future step-parent.  Failure to plan is to plan to fail!

1. How long should I wait before telling the children I am involved in a serious relationship?
There is no easy answer to this question. Remember you are the expert on your own children. Take a moment to consider how your children, even adult children typically react to change.
Are the children flexible and adaptable, slow to accept change, or highly resistant or reactive to any changes in their life and environment?  Spend some time thinking of when your children last experienced a significant change in their lives. What approach did you use that helped each child adapt?  Children need time to grief the loss of their first family or loss of a parent. It takes approximately two years to complete the grieving cycle. So while you may be emotionally ready for a new relationship, your children may still be grieving.

2. What issues should I consider before talking with the children?
The ages, stages of development; and children with special needs require thoughtful planning.  Some parents think that babies and toddlers will not have any significant emotional reaction to having a new person enter their lives. In fact, the opposite is true; even very young babies sense and react to changes.  If your child has special needs is there a time when they should not be distracted by your happy news? Are there important tests or exams that they may already be worried about? For young children and those with cognitive challenges, think carefully about the words you will use to explain your relationship. Children have the strangest ability to misinterpret information.  Some professionals advise that you should not consider remarrying until your children are adults. I do not agree with this at all.

3. Do my adult children require special consideration?
In a word, YES!  Adult children definitely require special consideration. Some older offspring are not always happy when they find out their divorced or widowed parent is ‘dating’ and planning to remarry.  Two adult children in one family may have entirely different reactions: one positive and supportive the other becomes angry and resistant. This creates additional stress for everyone.  Adult children experience similar issues as do dependent children when it comes to step-families. However, they also raise issues that are different from those raised by younger children.

4. We both have children how should we handle the announcement?
If both of you have children will you inform both sets at the same time?  If you tell one group before the other, are you inadvertently setting up a situation where some of the kids are ‘in the know’ before the others?  Those who are told first may feel they are more important in the scheme of things in contrast to the other group. This may breed some resentment, feelings of inequality, and competition between the two groups at some point.  Carefully consider the timing, location, and manner of your announcement. Each parent should inform their children on their own. This will empower the children to express their feeling openly and allow you to respond with understanding and empathy.

5. Do I tell your former spouse or let him find out though the grapevine?
This really depends on your relationship with your former partner. If you are on friendly terms it become less of an issues.  However the children will inform your ‘Ex’ anyway, so it really depends how you would prefer they find out about your romance.  If your former partner is still carrying a torch for you, expect some type of reaction: it may be dismay, anger, and grief.  The manner in which you broach the subject with your Ex may also include planning how to prepare your children for his potential reaction.

6. Are there any other special circumstances I need to consider?
Children often fantasy that their parents will reunite. When they learn there is someone else in your life, they may be resentful, angry, dismayed.  Your announcement may trigger a sense of grief and loss that their hopes and dreams for a reunion are shattered.

7. There are some major changes in the near future should I still tell the children?
Timing is everything. Sensitivity to the underlying feelings associated with upcoming changes is critical.  If your children are already feeling insecure or uncertain you may want to delay the announcement for a while. Try to understand what is worrying them. It is too soon after the divorce or separation? Have the children had an opportunity to complete their grief work? Will the upcoming changes significant and will they challenge your children’s coping skills?  If you have adult children or teenagers what events are happening in their lives that will need to be considered?

Enjoy your romance because once you change the status of your romantic relationship to that of future life partner, you enter into unknown territory.

 The intent of the above 7 critical question is to encourage you to slow down and plan carefully.

Mature Online Dating - UK
Mature Online Dating - South Africa
Single Parent Dating - UK 
Single Parent Dating - SA
Single Parent Dating - AUS
Christian Dating - SA
Black Dating - SA

Becoming An Effective Step Parent

Single Parent Dating - South Africa
Single Parent Dating UK
Single Parent Dating AUSTRALIA

Today’s family portrait is just as likely to display a blended family as a nuclear family. However, with over 75% of adults with children remarrying and 60% of those marriages ending in divorce, mostly because of the children, indicates that something is desperately wrong.

Blended families today vary widely but what is most common between them is difficulty blending. To be an effective step parent involves a lot of hard work, time, prayer and to be frank, disappointments. The following are a few good tips for starting off down the right path:

1. Just because you are now married does not mean your new spouse should be given automatic rights to discipline your children. Most often, this is the start of family turmoil. The children should only be disciplined by their biological parent. The non-biological parent should serve as support to their spouse. Private conversations between the husband and wife regarding house rules and discipline should occur and agreed upon very early on. They should be shared and followed through with all of the children so they know what to expect, which diminishes feelings of resentment.

2. Spend time with your own children separately. This is especially important in the beginning. It will bring much needed comfort and security to your children. They need to know that they are still a priority in your life. It is very important that separate time with your children is carefully balanced so they don’t become confused about the union of their new family. As for family time, be sure to regularly plan outings and family time together, which fosters the blending process. Make sure these times are used for enjoying one another and bonding, instead of reprimanding for last weeks misbehavior.

3. Do not compete with the parental role of the same sex biological parent. The child needs to know that their step-parent is an addition to their life, not a replacement of their same sex biological parent. Encourage their love and loyalty to the absent biological parent.

4. Lower your expectations. Even after many years, in contrast to nuclear families, most blended families lack family cohesiveness.
 
Mature Online Dating - UK
Mature Online Dating - South Africa
Single Parent Dating - UK 
Single Parent Dating - SA
Single Parent Dating - AUS
Christian Dating - SA
Black Dating - SA

19 Steps to Effective Communication in a Relationship

Single Parent Dating - South Africa
Single Parent Dating UK
Single Parent Dating AUSTRALIA

1. See communication as an opportunity to praise, build-up, affirm, heal, support and give positive reinforcement, rather than to correct, criticise, tear down, hurt, wound, lash out at. Praise opens doors to further communication, while criticism shuts them down.

2. Remember that actions speak louder than words; non-verbal communication usually is more powerful than verbal communication. Avoid double messages in which the verbal and the non-verbal messages convey something contradictory. (Credibility gap)

3. Define what is important and stress it; define what is unimportant and de-emphasise or ignore it. Avoid fault-finding.

4. Communicate in ways that show respect for the other person's worth as a human being. Avoid statements which begin with the words "You never " or "I think you".

5. Be clear and specific in your communication. Avoid vagueness.

6. Be realistic and reasonable in your statements. Avoid exaggeration and sentences which begin with "You always".

7. Test all your assumptions verbally by asking if they are accurate. Avoid acting until this is done.

8. Recognise that each event can be seen from different points of view. Avoid assuming that other people see things like you do. (Perception)

9. Recognise that your family members and close friends are experts on you and your behaviour. Avoid the tendency to deny their observations about you - especially if you are not sure.

10. Recognise that disagreement can be a meaningful form of communication. Avoid destructive arguments.

11. Be honest and open about your feelings and viewpoints. Bring up all significant problems even if you are afraid that doing so will disturb another person. Speak the truth in love. Avoid sullen silences.

12. Do not put down and/or manipulate the other person with tactics such as ridicule, interrupting, name-calling, changing the subject, blaming, bugging, sarcasm, criticism, pouting, guilt-inducing, etc. Avoid the one-upmanship game.

13. Be more concerned about how your communication affects others than about what you intended. Avoid getting bitter if you are misunderstood.

14. Accept all feelings and try to understand why others feel and act as they do. Avoid the tendency to say, "you shouldn't feel like that."

15. Be tactful considerate and courteous. Avoid taking advantage of the other person's feelings.

16. Ask questions and listen carefully. Avoid preaching or lecturing.

17. Do not use excuses. Avoid falling for the excuses of others.

18. Speak kindly politely and softly. Avoid nagging yelling or whining.

19. Recognise the value of humour and seriousness. Avoid destructive teasing.

Single Parent Dating - South Africa
Single Parent Dating UK
Single Parent Dating AUSTRALIA

Single Parent Dating - Making It Easier

Are you a single parent who has decided to give dating another try? Do you know where to start and what to do? Want some good single parent dating advice? Now that you are divorced, annulled or separated, hooking up with other guys may be scary. There are so many "what if", "should I" and  different kinds of doubts running through your mind. You may be too afraid to step out of your  comfort zone because you don't want to get hurt again. Well you should smile. You know why? Because you can make dating happen and it won't even hurt you. Here are some ideas on how to find someone who can accept you and your current situation you are in.


Single Parent Dating - South Africa

Single Parent Dating UK

Single Parent Dating AUSTRALIA

1. Make time for it.
You should be certain that you have enough time for it. You shouldn't try to go on a date between the soccer game of your child and piano recital of your kids. The guy may think that you don't have time for him. Besides, if you try to squeeze him in then there's a lesser chance for you to get intimate with one another. He understands that you have kids to raise, deadlines to meet in work and all that. You do have to remember though that you need to give room for him. Make it a point to spend time with him without even having to rush all things.

2. Have someone to baby sit your kids.
You should always keep a list of babysitters. You will need them on so-called "surprise dates".  You must have teenagers ready to be called at any given time. They are going to be like on-call doctors. They are ready 24/7. You won't have to worry as to who can take good care of your kids while you  are away. Make sure that you have a babysitter that you can rely on. You should have one that can manage your kids' tantrums and mischievous behavior. It will help your mind be at peace while you are enjoying the night out.

3. Don't be a free rider.
There's a reason why most men don't always enjoy dating single moms. The main reason in their head is that single moms are just looking for men who can take care of their financial problems. Hence, the term free rider. Since you said that you are ready to mingle, you should come prepared. You must not be broke. When both of you are out for a dinner, split the bill in half. It is much better if you willingly pay even though he doesn't want you to shell out cash. At least, you tried. He won't have an impression that you are just after the money. Don't let him feel the burden that he will have to work twice as hard because you have children. Don't let him get that impression. If you are on a tight budget, he doesn't have to take you in a fancy restaurant. Work around your budget. Both of you can just hang out in the coffee shop and talk.
Single Parent Dating - South Africa

Single Parent Dating UK

Single Parent Dating AUSTRALIA

5 Key Tips to Successful Single Parent Dating

 Did you know that single parents can go out on a date and have some fun with other people once in a while? Well yes, that is definitely correct. Single parent dating is a good way to release stress and unwind oneself.  Most single parents think that they become selfish when they spare some time for themselves.  Thus, they devote their whole lives attending to their children. However, that mentality is evidently wrong. Single parent dating can help you have a balanced life. Here are some selected single parent dating tips that can help you get started:

 Single Parent Dating - South Africa

Single Parent Dating UK

Single Parent Dating AUSTRALIA

1.  Create a List
Divide a portion of paper into three columns. In the first column, list the qualities you consider 'necessary'. In the middle column, write the qualities you think 'somewhat necessary'. In the last column, write the qualities you believe 'not necessary at all'. This way, you will achieve two things:
first, it will make you become more attentive to people whom you know that possess these qualities; and second, it will prevent you from choosing those people with unnecessary qualities that you don't like.

2.  Inform Your Friends
Let your friends and office mates know the qualities of the person you want to meet. Tell them the kind of person you are interested in dating. As much as possible, be specific with your interest. Then, ask a request from them to observe these qualities from the people encircling you.

3.  Allow Your Friends to Recommend Dates
After informing them of the qualities of the person you wish to have in a date, it is now their turn to suggest persons that may suit you best. Remember, your friends are likely to choose based on the qualities you considered 'necessary'. In every suggestion, allow them to include short descriptions of each person and decide which ones you could enjoy to develop a friendship with.

4.  Be Honest to Your Children
When you are new to single parent dating, there is a possibility that your children will get stressed and feel nervous when you are out of sight. Tell them the truth and let them know that they are your top priority. But, to be a better mom or dad, you must spare time for yourself as well. You need to tell them that they are still the first on your list and their needs are still the most important matter.

5.  Do Not Hasten Things
It is not a good idea for you to allow your kids to spend a day with him or her if this is your first date. It is better if you will keep them separate until you are very sure of your feelings. If the two of you start to get serious, and you feel that he or she might be the one, then introduce him or her to your children.

If you are worried about being a single mom or dad, maybe it's now time to take on a whole new perspective towards single parent dating. Think about the changes it will bring and the happiness that can be found in a good relationship, which you deserve! Bear in mind that these single parent dating tips are not just about the 'right' relationship, it is for your ultimate contentment in life.

 Single Parent Dating - South Africa

Single Parent Dating UK

Single Parent Dating AUSTRALIA

An Alternative View on Single Parent Dating

Single Parent Dating - South Africa

Single Parent Dating UK

Single Parent Dating AUSTRALIA

Going through the ordeals of divorce is a traumatic experience. In addition to that, being a single parent with the responsibility of bringing up the children is also stressful. Dating can be a useful means of relaxation. However, there are different perspectives of single parent dating in the society. These perspectives keep on changing with times. Single parent dating can be a pleasurable experience if one makes subtle changes in their outlook towards the entire issue.

An open mind is necessary for making a right decision. Dating should be used as a means of expanding social circle rather than looking for a soul mate. An elite social circle can help in focusing on friendship. One can have a better assessment of people around through this. Depending on this assessment and analysis, a decision can be taken about the future, thus avoiding any disappointment by making poor decisions.
Socializing can also be a refreshing alternative from the busy working schedule. It can be a part of personal self-care plan. Single parents on dating should try to understand the qualities of the partner rather than banking on physical attraction. This is only possible by making friends and can help in determining the future fate of the relationship.

Single parents going for dating have to clearly set their priorities and their expectations from their partner. It is very important to convey this message to the other end so as to avoid any compromise or misunderstandings in the future. If a parent is looking to find someone, one needs to take a bit of risk. One has to come out of the comfort zone so as to socialize and meet various interesting people. Useful options include looking at the church, signing on an online dating service or through word of mouth.

Single Parent Dating - South Africa

Single Parent Dating UK

Single Parent Dating AUSTRALIA

Understanding the World of Single Parents Dating Again

Single Parent Dating - South Africa

Single Parent Dating UK

Single Parent Dating AUSTRALIA

In single Parents Dating, life does not offer perfect family settings that we imagine it should. Sometimes circumstances make us go our separate ways when we notice a missing ingredient. If you are alone again, you should know that you are supposed to walk back into the dating scene but only when you are ready. "Kids are no object" kind of mentality helps a lot in single parent dating.

 Normally as a single parent you will experience confused feelings and fears. Many are the times we ask "Is it me who is supposed to be busy playing the dating game or is it my teenage daughter? "You should not have such an attitude. You are going to afford time to date as well as take care of your family if it becomes one of your agendas. Dating for single parents can invoke guilty feelings. Some people start thinking that they are offending their children while dating.

Single parents who are in the process of gaining support and custody of their children are usually in dangerous emotional conflicts. The confusion, anger and frustration affect most single parents dating. This especially affects fathers who suffer from a condition popularly known as "fathers' depression". This is because they are mostly subjected to paying many child-support bills and the sad part is that they are usually deprived of being with their children as much as they would wish. With the escalating numbers of young girls who are producing babies outside marriage and the sky rocketing divorce cases there are many single parents dating. Dating for single parents is done with some hopes of finding a mate who would help them raise the children. Some single people appreciate the idea of attaining an instant family through marrying a single parent. "Ready made" families are fun to have. Give it a trial. 

Single Parent Dating - South Africa

Single Parent Dating UK

Single Parent Dating AUSTRALIA

Dating for single parents means being purely selfless. It calls for a lot of perseverance and understanding. Jane who was a never married single lady with no kids got married to a single father of one girl. Soon she started becoming resentful towards her spouse claiming that he was spending most of his time with his ex-wife and the daughter. She felt so threatened that she quit. It all depends on how much the other person is willing to accept the change in responsibilities. Single parents dating should make a routine of communicating through their problems and making compromises. Do not reject your responsibilities as a parent though your partner resents you. Deal with the initial resistance and if it persists consider dropping the relationship.

All single parents want to be good parents to be emulated by their children. Dating for single parents make them fulfilled and this happiness always spill over and is mostly reflected with how they treat their children. They are psychologically prepared for all their children reactions towards their dating. Single parents dating are faced with a bad perception from the children that the new lover is a stranger who is out to sabotage their fantasy. Understand that your children will not be happy with the new catch since he will in one way or another steal some of your attention from them.