If you
feel anxious about not being in a relationship, it may be time to adopt a
whole new attitude toward single parent dating. Consider how these
small changes could alter your perspective and help you enjoy the full,
rich life you deserve. Focus on expanding your social circle instead of "finding a mate."
Change
your definition of what it means to have an active social life. When
you focus on finding "the one," you're bound to put a lot of pressure on
yourself. This can have two negative effects: First, it can cause you
to make poor decisions; and, second, it can lead to unnecessary
disappointment with an otherwise fulfilling life.
When you place
your attention on expanding your social circle, though, you free
yourself from that pressure. This enables you to focus on friendships
and being with people who encourage and bring joy to your life.
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Build each potential relationship on friendship, not just attraction.
Chances
are, you pretty much know immediately whether you are attracted to
someone or not. Rather than allowing only physical attraction to define
your relationship, though, focus on really getting to know one another
and exploring your common interests. This may require discipline and
even some restraint. However, taking the time to get to know someone as a
friend will allow you to see their best and worst qualities with
clarity and make objective decisions about the potential of your
relationship.
Be Confident
Take some risks. If you have
serious hopes about enjoying a meaningful relationship, you're going to
have to do some things you might not ordinarily do, in order to maximize
your social opportunities. For some people this means being bold enough
to initiate a conversation while standing in the checkout line. For
others, it means going back to church, signing up with an online dating
service, or putting the word "out" among friends that you'd like you
find someone. Certainly you should never do something that makes you
uncomfortable or that compromise your integrity. However, taking small
risks that place you just outside your comfort zone can put you in a
good position to meet many new and interesting people.
Make your social life part of your self-care plan.
To
say you are "extremely busy" working and raising your children is an
understatement. In fact, you may even feel like you just don't have time
to date. If that's the case, I'd encourage you to think of socializing
as part of taking care of yourself. You deserve to get out and socialize now and then.
Spending some time away from your home and work responsibilities can be
a refreshing part of honoring who you are and getting to know yourself
again. Rather than feeling guilty about social engagements, view them as
a part of your personal self-care plan.
You are worth waiting for the right relationship.
Finally,
don't compromise. You're not looking for someone who treats you well
"most" of the time, makes you feel "somewhat" important, or has "a
little bit" of respect for the work you do in the world. You are worth
more than that. If you haven't believed that until now, then this is the
time to throw away your old thinking habits and adopt a new attitude
concerning your worth as a friend, a dating companion, and potentially
as a mate.
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