Top 5 Reasons Independence is Important in Your Relationship

Living in a close relationship with your special someone is invigorating, exciting and fun.

In reality, a healthy relationship is made up of two mentally strong people. They each lead independent lives and have the desire and ability share their lives as well.

These are a few of the reasons why this balance of separateness and togetherness is important:

1. Independence makes the relationship more intellectually stimulating. If each party brings his or her individual interests to the table, they'll have some fascinating and different subjects to talk about with one another.

2. You can depend on your partner for support when you need it. If each partner is independent, each one is comfortable depending on the other when the going gets tough or when life gets hectic. A relationship is, in essence, a partnership. Knowing you can count on the other person is wonderfully supportive.

• Having confidence that your partner can "be okay" without you while you're at work or otherwise engaged relieves you of having to worry about how your partner will manage in challenging situations.
• Relationships do have an ebb and flow that requires that one partner lean on the other occasionally.

3. Two independent people in a relationship can mean a more balanced relationship. When you're both independent, the relationship is healthier. Nobody is exclusively relegated to a specific role.

• When balance isn't present, one partner might take the role of "the strong one" in the relationship while the other partner is consequently "the weak one." Equilibrium in the relationship means no one partner is more or less powerful than the other.

4. Your relationship becomes stronger. When two independent people make a decision to have a relationship, their time with each other is more special and sacred. Even though a sense of independence is important for each partner, being willing to share with the other what you love to do is a great way to spend quality time together.

• Bringing independence to your relationship promises a deeper, more lasting partnership, since it's built on acceptance of each other as a whole human being.

5. A sense of independence makes you more emotionally secure. This works for and benefits both partners.

• If a partner is emotionally secure, they're not afraid to show their strength and their softer side at the same time.
• Each person's sense of independence can help facilitate more openness and honesty in the partnership. No matter what you say or do, you know that your mate will ultimately be okay, since their independence already shows that they're able to take care of themselves.
• When you come together at the end of the day, maybe one is tired or bored. The other can step in and revive the other or bring some ideas to the table.
• Neither partner will feel threatened by their mate's autonomy and sense of personal strength and emotional security.

Partners in a relationship will enjoy a much deeper, longer lasting connection when they each have a sense of independence. Bringing up different interests for discussion, feeling like you can depend on the other and having a balanced relationship all stem from both parties having their own sense of autonomy.

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How To Prepare For A Great Relationship

Love - to love and be loved - is one of the greatest joys of the human life experience. Unfortunately, it can also go very wrong. You could end up abused, neglected, and miserable - or worse.

It's important to make wise choices in your relationships so your experiences with love can bring joy and fulfillment to your life.

Letting your heart rule your head is romantic, but you can keep yourself safe, both emotionally and physically, by making sure your head is at least involved in the decision making. When it comes to romantic partners, spotting any red flags that appear will help you have only healthy, strong relationships.

Another important consideration is your personal desire for a relationship. What, specifically, are you searching for? Are you doing the right things and going to the places that will attract someone who's a good fit for you? Or are you just looking for anyone?

Finding the Right Person Through Understanding Yourself

When you're looking for Mr or Ms Right, there are techniques you can use that will contribute to your success in finding who you're looking for. The first thing you should do is to ensure you're ready for the kind of relationship you're looking for.

Here are some ways to prepare for a great relationship:

1. Be comfortable with being alone. Are you content with being on your own? Any romantic relationship you enter into should be because you care about that person and yourself. If it's only to avoid being lonely, it's probably not the best choice for you.

2. Know what you want out of life. When looking for a person to share your life with, you want one who shares your goals, dreams, and values. Avoid settling for less because your long-term happiness could be affected - and so could the happiness of your partner.

3. Stay focused on your goals. Giving up your dreams and desires for someone else seldom works well. Seek out a person who encourages you to pursue your dreams. When you've found one, that's someone worth paying attention to!

4. Remember it's not a race. Choosing someone just so you aren't alone is unfair to both of you. The person you're looking for will appear when the time is right. Avoid trying to force it. Your time will come, when you least expect it! As hard as it may be, try to be patient.

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Do You Love Yourself?

How do I know if I love myself?

When you truly love yourself...

1. You treat yourself with respect & kindness.
2. You expect fair treatment from others too.
3. You devote time and attention to your mental, physical and emotional health.
4. You set firm boundaries in your life and have the courage to stand up for yourself.
5. You have a greater sense of self-awareness and self-knowledge which inspires confidence and assurance in who you really are inside.

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FIVE Online Dating Rules

1: The Site DOES Matter

The site you choose to join does matter! Each site will potentially have different types of people possessing different relationship goals and it’s important to know this before you sign up for the site. 

2: People DO Misrepresent Themselves

I know it’s difficult to fathom that some people lie but it’s true.  These lies can range in severity from over-exaggerations and twenty year old photographs to flat-out lies about their relationship status (you’d be surprised how many singles really aren’t).  You should approach online dating no differently than you would if a stranger walked up to you in a bar and offered to buy you a drink.  Don’t rush into anything.  A healthy dose of scepticism combined with a balance of expectation and reality will not only help to ensure your safety but will also increase your chance of success!

3: Different Places, Different Paces

It’s important to keep in mind that everyone has different lives outside of dating.  Be patient and understanding that some people don’t check their online dating email every day and you may not receive a reply right away.  I always recommend taking the high road when it comes to communicating online.  If you aren’t receiving responses in the amount of time that you’d expect don’t disregard the contact.  Take it as a sign that they may not be that interested, they simply have a slower pace or that the timing just isn’t right and move on.  You just never know who may come back around when the timing is better, but you’ll never know if you burn those bridges.

4: Perfect on Paper Isn’t Always Perfect

It’s important to understand that it’s ok to not be into someone for reasons that you can’t define.  Chemistry can be something that’s there right away and it can also be something that takes some time to develop.  In either case, if you’re not feeling the spark when you feel you should don’t drag things out.  You deserve a match that deserves you!  As always, a healthy dose of balance between expectation and reality is important.

5: Some People Won’t Respond

Online dating is much more anonymous than meeting people in the real world.  If you were approached by someone in public and they said “hi”, how would it look if you ignored them?  This standard does not apply to online dating.  You should prepare yourself to not hear from potential matches that you reach out to.  Try not to take this personally; it doesn’t mean that you’re undesirable it simply means they are not interested.  I would also advise against highlighting people in this area.  It makes you look like an idiot and will only provide you with temporary vindication.  Besides, you never know how busy someone is, or if your paths will cross in some other way and burning bridges is rarely a good idea.

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Myths About Relationships - Part 2

 Myth: If you're truly in love, passion will never fade.

Fact: Thanks to movies and romantic novels, we assume that if we genuinely love someone, "the passion and loving" never go away. And if they do disappear, then "it must not be the right relationship" or "our relationship must be in trouble."  However, passion naturally diminishes in all relationships.

Daily routines are one of the culprits. As responsibilities grow and roles expand, couples have less and less time and energy for each other.

But this doesn't mean that the passion is gone for good. With a little planning and playfulness, you can boost passion.  It is important for couples to introduct new things to perk up the relationship.  Emotional intimacy along with a continuing sense of adventure and exploration puts a new aspect on things.  Try and avoid passion-squashing routines.

Myth: Having a child will strengthen your relationship or marriage.

Fact: Studies have shown that relationship happiness actually decreases with every child. This doesn't mean that you start loving each other less or that you won't bond at all over your child, but the mounting challenges can complicate relationships.

Having realistic expectations helps couples prepare themselves for their new roles. When you think that a child will improve your relationship, it only adds to the complications.

Planning ahead and talking about the changes that will occur can go a long way preparing for when you have your first child or more kids.

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