25 March 2014

Fun Dating Ideas For Single Parents

There is a reason that dating is pressure filled. Dating is the ritual people go through in order to find someone to settle down with. Sure some people view dating as a fun way to pass the time but for  most, dating comes paired with "is he/she the one?" pressure.
This pressure is intensified when one of the parties in the dating duo is a single parent. Dating a single parent and dating as a single parent is very different than dating as a single person. This is why so many of you are searching for dating ideas for single parents and single parents date suggestions.
  
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The best approach to dating when a single parent is involved is to go for the easy and relaxed "getting to know you" types of dates instead of the "how much can we impress each other?" types of dates. Here are a few standards that should work well for those of you who want to find dating ideas for single parents.

 1. Dinner and a (optional) Movie.
There is a reason that dinner and a movie is a classic date. It is easy, it is affordable (or it used to be, movies are kind of expensive these days) and it provides both parties with a distraction if the conversation starts to wane. When dating a single parent set it up as an easy dinner with the option for seeing a movie if the dinner part goes well. If things are awkward or you do not click at dinner you can go your separate ways, no mess no fuss! A good idea for this type of date is to get together for an early dinner and a movie: the movie tickets will be cheaper and it is a lot easier to find a baby sitter when the date takes place in the late afternoon or early evening.


2. Picnic Lunch
Lunch time dates are, at their cores, more relaxed than dinner dates. If you are searching for dating ideas for single parents, suggest a lunch date that is close to where you both work. To save some money suggest a lunch break picnic in which you meet at a location that is near both of your workplaces and to which you each bring your own lunch! This will save you both some money and takes away a lot of the pressure that comes from having dinner. It also gives you an easy out if the lunch date does not go well-you both have to get back to work!

3. Coffee
A type of date which can be short or linger into a couple of hours, depending how the conversation and company turn out.  Choose a public place, where you will feel safe.

The best way to approach dating ideas for single parents to err on the side of relaxation and ease. There is no reason to rush into a relationship. Take time to get to know each other and do not put pressure on each other for a second date. Let it be well known that you are both trying to take things as they come. If you get along you'll go out again, if not, then that's okay too!

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18 March 2014

Do Teenagers Have a Problem With Their Single Parent Dating Again?


Most single parents are just as uncomfortable with dating as their teenage children are about their parent dating. It takes about a year to adjust the emotional baggage of a divorce for kids and adults. Some parents jump right into dating while others avoid dating altogether. It is a good idea to take it slow and move that emotional baggage around one bag at a time. Dating can wait as the interests and emotions of maturing teens particularly in the custodial home must come first.



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Parents are role models and teens are still way too vulnerable to anger and frustration if their fears are not addressed by both parents.  Most teenagers are repulsed by their parent's sexuality. A new partner then brings unwanted changes and morality becomes an issue that must be modeled by the parent at this time. It is critical to communicate with teenagers about their feelings. This will validate their value and give them the security they desperately need in a newly broken home. Teens will also wrestle with parental loyalty issues as their single parents begin dating. Teens are still trying to mature emotionally already and divorce adds a tone of problems to their lives. While they are still maturing on the outside, they are sill young children on the inside. Tread tenderly around your budding adult, with respect.

Teenagers will think that single parents are behaving like adolescents when they begin dating and roles can be reversed at this time. The teenager will act like the adult while the adult is acting like a kid. Kids can also feel shut out during this parental dating phase. They wonder if they are still important to their dating single parent. They are also beginning to wrestle with the emotional baggage of life with their biological two-parent family ending. Kids need their parents to spend time with them. It is important not to forget the relationships with the children while pursuing a new one with a lover. Be very discreet.

Teenagers will even help a new relationship along if they think their dating single parent does not have a clue. They are also great at sabotaging any new attempt to date. Some teens will even try to get their parents back together. Mainly, kids just want to know that they are still loved. They are still not as old as they look or pretend to be. Kids are dealing with underlying fear and anxiety. Every family must find the emotional balance that is unique to each.
 
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15 March 2014

Focus On Expanding Your Social Circle Instead of "Finding a Mate."

If you feel anxious about not being in a relationship, it may be time to adopt a whole new attitude toward single parent dating. Consider how these small changes could alter your perspective and help you enjoy the full, rich life you deserve.  Focus on expanding your social circle instead of "finding a mate."

Change your definition of what it means to have an active social life. When you focus on finding "the one," you're bound to put a lot of pressure on yourself. This can have two negative effects: First, it can cause you to make poor decisions; and, second, it can lead to unnecessary disappointment with an otherwise fulfilling life.

When you place your attention on expanding your social circle, though, you free yourself from that pressure. This enables you to focus on friendships and being with people who encourage and bring joy to your life.

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Build each potential relationship on friendship, not just attraction.
Chances are, you pretty much know immediately whether you are attracted to someone or not. Rather than allowing only physical attraction to define your relationship, though, focus on really getting to know one another and exploring your common interests. This may require discipline and even some restraint. However, taking the time to get to know someone as a friend will allow you to see their best and worst qualities with clarity and make objective decisions about the potential of your relationship.

Be Confident
Take some risks. If you have serious hopes about enjoying a meaningful relationship, you're going to have to do some things you might not ordinarily do, in order to maximize your social opportunities. For some people this means being bold enough to initiate a conversation while standing in the checkout line. For others, it means going back to church, signing up with an online dating service, or putting the word "out" among friends that you'd like you find someone. Certainly you should never do something that makes you uncomfortable or that compromise your integrity. However, taking small risks that place you just outside your comfort zone can put you in a good position to meet many new and interesting people.

Make your social life part of your self-care plan.
To say you are "extremely busy" working and raising your children is an understatement. In fact, you may even feel like you just don't have time to date. If that's the case, I'd encourage you to think of socializing as part of taking care of yourself. You deserve to get out and socialize now and then. Spending some time away from your home and work responsibilities can be a refreshing part of honoring who you are and getting to know yourself again. Rather than feeling guilty about social engagements, view them as a part of your personal self-care plan.

You are worth waiting for the right relationship.
Finally, don't compromise. You're not looking for someone who treats you well "most" of the time, makes you feel "somewhat" important, or has "a little bit" of respect for the work you do in the world. You are worth more than that. If you haven't believed that until now, then this is the time to throw away your old thinking habits and adopt a new attitude concerning your worth as a friend, a dating companion, and potentially as a mate.

7 March 2014

Get Back To Dating - Now That You Are A Single Parent

Dating as a single parent is a very scary proposition. The real act of dating is probably less daunting than the thought of getting out there and back into the dating game is.
Whether one is a single parent due to divorce or death, or even by design, dating is something that needs to be thought about carefully and you need to make sure that you are ready for it.
If the thought of dating again is terrifying you but you realize that you do need some adult company and would like to go out for dinner with someone other than your mother or your best friend, or to a movie which is not for those who are not yet in their teens, here are a few tips to change your mindset and make it easier.

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How to change your mindset about single parent dating -
Change your focus

- Having an active social life does not necessarily mean that you have to concentrate on finding "the one" - that would involve far too much pressure.
- Rather look at dating as expanding your social circle, which automatically relieves you of any pressure.
- This change of mindset frees you up to just have fun and enjoy being with people who bring joy and positivity into your life.

A personal self-care plan
- Being a single parent is difficult and does not leave much time to date... or does it?
- If you feel that you cannot take time out to date, then try to think of dating as part of your self care program.
- Being a parent does not mean that you should lose your own identity; a happy parent is a better parent.
- Getting out and having fun is a way of honouring yourself and will boost your psychological health and self-esteem.

Friendship is important
- Most of us know when we meet someone whether we are attracted to them or not.
- The problem is that many of us allow the physical attraction to define the relationship, and when that fades there is nothing left.
- Try to focus on establishing a friendship with the other party and get to know them and let them get to know you; explore common interests and just have fun.
- By seeing someone else at their worst and their best, one can make an informed decision as to whether there is a potential relationship there or not.

Be Courageous
- If you feel that you are ready to date again, you may have to be very bold and put yourself out there.
- It will be difficult to put yourself back into the dating pool, but you need to take steps to maximise your social interaction opportunities.
- This could be easier to get into by doing chatting to friends and getting them to set up some dates for you in a group setting or joining a dating site, or even joining a single parent group.
- Put yourself a bit outside your comfort zone and reap the benefits.

Don't Compromise
- Remember you are worth getting to know and need not settle for second-best, so don't!
- You deserve to have someone who pays attention to you and treats you in the way that you deserve to be treated - like royalty!
- Never compromise; decide what you want out of a relationship and settle for nothing less than that.

So, now that you have a different mindset and realize that just because you are a single parent does not mean that you have to stay single and never go out or have any fun, shake out the problems, shrug off the self-doubt and get out your dancing shoes!

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