1 December 2014

How To Balance Your Family And Social Life

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Help for single parents is a necessity in today's society.  Household and Family Statistics reported that single parents accounted for 27% of family households with children under 18-years of age. And one out of two children will live in a single parent family at some point during their childhood.  It is noteworthy, therefore, to address the unique family and social needs of divorced and single parents.

Quality Family Time
The daily routine in most broken family households can be hectic. The majority of single parents work outside the home.  Aside from the need to re-establish some sort of normal daily routine to help children regain their footing, a child's social needs and quality family time are also important.
Because one parent now must strive to fill a two parent role at least during weekdays, spare time is precious. Creative ways to enjoy family fun and quality time together are a must.
Having children help with Saturday chores and errands, for instance, can be fun. It can also
provide opportunity for positive reinforcement of family unity and working together to accomplish tasks.
The sweet reward of a family picnic, watching a family movie while eating pizza, or another type of family fun is the perfect topper.


Helping the Insecure Child
Split households often affect children negatively; at least in the beginning. One good way to help an insecure child better adjust to the new family structure is to allow them to talk about their feelings.  Getting up early Sunday morning, for instance, and having breakfast together at the table provides an excellent opportunity for family talks. Turn the telephone off to reduce the risk of interruptions; omit television and other distractions. Each family member in turn should be encouraged to share what is on their mind.
Sprinkling praise with correction can help increase a child's self-esteem, which will help them feel less insecure; mix 2 parts praise with 1 part correction. For instance, (praise) "I really like the wayyou 've been keeping your room picked up," (correction) "Could you please try to keep your coat and boots in the closet where they belong," (praise) "Thank you, I really appreciate your help."


Single Parent Social Needs
Despite the fact you have your child's emotional and social needs to take into consideration, you also have your own. Juggling job and family without the help of a spouse can be taxing. By reserving time for yourself each week you reduce the risk of "burn out."
You also benefit your children by being happier and less stressed.


The tips below can help:
1. Accept the fact that there will be times when things are less-than-perfect. As a single parent you cannot "do it all," no matter how hard you try.
2. Don't feel guilty about seeking to fulfill your social needs. It is healthy for you and your children to enjoy alone time, and cultivate friendships outside the family.
3. Allow time for yourself each week; treat yourself to a movie with friends, go out on a date, have your nails done, or enjoy a bubble bath.
4. Benefit from contact with others who understand the challenges of being a single parent first hand. Join a local single parents group; or an online resource that connects single parents, for friendship or dating purposes.
 

Lastly, single parent dating calls for wisdom. Go slow; avoid persons who would make a poor role model for your children. Avoid introducing a date to your children prematurely. Allow yourself adequate time to get to know the person first.
 

Respect and honor yourself as a single parent. And above all else, respect your children's
feelings; help them to always feel they are an important part of your life.


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28 October 2014

Find Time To Date As a Single Parent


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For a Single Parent finding time to Date could be a little challenging considering the commitments and responsibilities. So how should a Single Parent make the time to start dating again without taking too much time from other responsibilities? 

The following Single Parent Dating tips will help:

1) Social activities with family: For building an active social life along with children, there great many opportunities. The church or the community group that you attend to are great examples of a family activity with a social setting. The best part about a group social setting is that you get the chance to interact with a lot of people at once, and you can get a sense of who you might want to see again. This way, you're not taking away your time with children and at the same time not wasting time on someone you may not want to see again.


2) Lunch Dates: Lunch is a very non-threatening and non-committal setting for getting to know someone. There's actually very little room for either person to assume any hint of commitment following a friendly lunch. And lunch is something you might be stopping for every day, so you don't have to take extra time out from your busy schedule. So consider going for your regular lunch with someone you'd like to get to know better.


3) Meet at the Gym: There's no suggestion here that you seek out potential dates at the gym but once you've met someone you might like to get to know better, if you're both committed to working out regularly, plan to coordinate your gym timings.


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23 October 2014

Rebuild Your Self-Esteem And Learn How To Heal After An Affair


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Knowing how to heal after and affair is just like a gift to you and to others around you. After you found out that your spouse or partner is cheating on you and details about the affair, your self-esteem has diminished and you don't believe in you anymore. But you have to know that the first most important step in rebuilding your relationship after an affair is to heal yourself.
This may seem selfish for you because you are used to take care of someone else first and then take care of your needs. It is normal to feel like that but you have to remain committed to resolving your own needs and values so you can understand better how to heal after an affair.

Here are 3 steps about how to heal after an affair and rediscover your lost self-esteem:
Step 1: Learn how to manage your negative thoughts to regain your self-esteem. Any relationship after an affair is not the same and it may never be like it was before and this has an impact on you on many levels. Learning how to heal after an affair is crucial in your fight and first you have to counter the negative feelings with positive self-talk that helps you move on.

Step 2: Start keeping a journal to have a record of your thoughts. Begin to create positive thoughts to counter the bad ones. You can boost your self-esteem by writing in your journal happy memories of yourself about moments in your past where your self-esteem was at a high level. This journal will help you keep the momentum for rediscovering yourself and how to heal after an affair.

Step 3: You must take action in order to rebuild your self-esteem. Build a vision of your future and how would you like to be and start taking daily or weekly actions that bring you closer to your goal. You know that you want to be happy, but you have to define what it looks like in order to find out how to heal after an affair.

So what actions can you take to help you move closer to your final goal and that is to be happy again? For example try to do something that you never done, and don't be afraid to try new things. Maybe you always wanted to learn how to bake artisan breads, go on a tour to ancient places like historical sites or maybe you want to go in a trip somewhere far away.  Plan it and do it and you will feel much better. This is an affective way how to heal after an affair.

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If you don't know how to heal after an affair other than taking actions to improve your live after your partner cheated on you, is the best way to rediscover yourself, what inspires you, what are your passions and everything about you that makes you feel good.

Whether you stay with that partner, or move on in different directions, you will discover many different aspects of yourself you didn't know about.  Ultimately by taking positive steps, you will take charge of your life and become a stronger person.

20 October 2014

Single Parent Dating - Make It a Success


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A single parent has many issues to deal with alone. He/she has to deal with finances, work, family and house issues. There is hardly any time left for them to consider any personal relationship.  Moreover, it might not be easy to get into any relationship with the demands of the home, children and work.
 

Good Babysitter
If the children are young, the parent can engage a babysitter to enjoy a night out with friends alone. This will be a good break for him/her. A good babysitter will take the parenting
responsibilities away, albeit for a short while, from the parents. It is a breather space for the parent to be rejuvenated or de-stressed.


Understanding date
Finding an understanding date is another option for single parents who do not mind dating with children on tow. It would make a good 'family' outing as well as gauge the relationship between the date and the children. It is necessary to ensure that the date and the children are comfortable with one another so that the parent is not torn between the two parties.
A date can be a casual company for a time or two unless a serious relationship starts developing.  The date must then be clear about parenthood commitments if both parties choose to carry the relationship deeper.


Quality Family Time
If the single parent spends sufficient time with the children, showering enough care and love, the children will grow up secure and independent. There would be no hindrances from the children when the parent decides to go on a date. But if the children do not get enough love and time with the parent, feelings of insecurity may come on when the parent goes on a date and there may be difficult situations between the children and date.


Types of dating
It is difficult for a parent to be on a date after losing his/her spouse or having not been on a date for a long time. Hence, the types of date to get a parent dating again are important as the wrong types may cause the parent to turn away from future dates.


If the single parent is unfamiliar with the date, it is better to make it a foursome or group date
rather than the pair alone. Awkwardness may set in if the parent is not ready for a date or become emotional during the date.


Good dates would be casual interaction with another opposite sex with no demands and
expectations where both parties enjoy a night out on a common interest or activity. That would release the tension between the parent and the date.


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6 October 2014

Differences Between a Step Family and a Traditional Family

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Many couples make the mistake of thinking their step family is no different from the traditional or first family unit. Failing to have a solid understanding of the significant differences between the two usually creates massive conflict and confusion.
Traditional families are born out of love, hope, and have strong biological and legal ties. The adults have time during the honeymoon period to establish family values, norms, roles and responsibilities, and to build a strong couple identity and relationship.

The children all live in one house and are members of one family unit. There are few, if any, loyalty issues. The children are treated equal; family and parental conflict is minimal. Family finances and inheritance are not usually issues.
Stepfamilies are born out of loss and grief due to family separation and divorce. Members of the extended family and community may not support the marriage.
There is no honeymoon period and the adults become 'instant parents'. The parent-child relationship pre-dates the couple relationship. These two factors make it very difficult for the adults to build the critically important couple relationship that is needed to stabilize the new family unit.

Not all family members of the stepfamily live in the same home and the children are often members of two or more families.  Planning family activities and events must take into consideration the children's other biological parent as well as visiting stepchildren.  Each adult feels differently about and is treated differently by the same child. There are complex loyalty issues and the stepchild may be hostile and reject the stepparent. Attachment and bonding may take years or may never happen between stepparent and stepchild.
The level of conflict in the stepfamilies is higher especially in the early years and is often related to finances, inheritance, child management, and differences in family values and culture.

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30 September 2014

How to Read a Guy in 10 Minutes

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When you see a guy who takes your fancy when you are out and about, one of the talents you would love to have is to know how to read the guy. Most people would say that is impossible to read someone in any detail by only looking at them, but we disagree. There are many things you can learn about a man just by looking at him for a few minutes, and several key signs you can pick up on. These can help you understand when the guy is like without even talking to him, so you can know if he might be someone you would be interested in or not.

Appearance
The first and most obvious thing which you can tell about a guy by looking at him is his dress sense. You can tell if he is the kind of person who spends a lot of money on clothes and looks after himself, either by going to the gym or by using things such as hair products and fake tan. This can tell you if a man is indifferent about how they look, slightly bothered or far too into their own looks. Their appearance can also tell what they are like with money, if they are wearing designer clothes where the label is worth more than the product then you know the guy is either well off or likes to splash the cash just to act rich.

Personality
You can also find out a lot about a man's personality by observing them for a short period of time. If you know how to read a guy then you can easily determine whether they are a shy or confident person. A confident person will be talking a lot or imposing themselves on the conversation or situation. Whereas a shy person will not say enough and will often be the person laughing along awkwardly in the background. It is also easy enough to find out if they are polite or not, watch how they act. Do they hold doors open for people, hand people things, and simply give them respect while they are talking? All these things are strong signs of a man who will be respectful towards you and treat you right.

Interests and Hobbies
If you are very good at knowing how to read a guy then you will even be able to figure out their likes and dislikes just by looking at them. For example, a man who is clearly in very good shape obviously likes either going to the gym a lot or competing in sport, or both. Intellectuals can often be picked up by the way they are talking, do they seem to be leading the rest on a hot topic of conversation, or maybe they are being completely obvious by reading a book or the newspaper. Finally arty and creative people can also often be picked out by looking at them. They often like to dress in a unique way to make them stand out, and they often look at the things around them in a different eye to everyone else.

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27 August 2014

Your Teenager - Should You Monitor Facebook Activities ?

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Are you concerned about what your teen is doing on Facebook? Not sure how much you should check on their online life? It can be confusing figuring out how much freedom you should give your teen, especially when it comes to the Internet. It's important that you do not come across as the enemy, otherwise your teen will be likely to do whatever they want in spite of your instructions. Social media has firmly injected itself as an important part of your teenager's coming of age, and as such should be treated with the same respect and caution as other milestones.

Keep Your Teen Safe
It's important that you let your teen know that not everyone online, whether on Facebook or other social sites, are good people.  Of course the majority are but there are a number of predators that actively seek out younger, naive users. In addition, your teen should be warned against the risks of exposing too much information about themselves, whether it is details about their school, their phone number or even their address. Most teens have been only surrounded by good people in their lives and have no real reason to suspect strangers or people they meet online, so it's really important that you stress that they must keep their private information private.

How Much Time on Facebook
If left to their own devices teens will happily spend hours, or even days glued to Facebook. It is, after all, a modern day extension of their social lives and social lives are usually the center of a teenager's universe. When trying to set limits for your teenager's time on Facebook you will be almost always met with defiance; keeping up to date with their friends has become the social norm for many teens.
Depending on what kind of devices your teen has, they might be connected to Facebook all the time by way of their phone. This is much harder to monitor and limit, but you can make rules that their phone must not be brought to the dinner table and that they can't sleep with their phones. Find out what works for your family and be firm about the rules, setting up a Home Contract if you need to ensure your teenager's compliance.

Facebook Friends with Your Teen
Many parents struggle with the fact that their teen does not want to add them as a friend on Facebook - this is obviously because they do not want their parent to see what they are getting up to or posting on there. Some parents are okay, and are happy to accept that in ways Facebook is like a personal diary, something that a teen should be able to have as private.
Other parents are a lot more concerned about what their teens are doing and feel that they should not have a Facebook page if they are not prepared to leave it open. Obviously this is a personal decision, something that will be very much dependent on your family and the dynamic that will work best for you.

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17 July 2014

After Infidelity Happens To You, Learn To Trust Again

After a relationship ends one of the most difficult challenges is to learn to trust again. Yes, certainly it's hard to trust another person again but that is only the half of it. More significantly it becomes difficult to trust one's Heart again.

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You see many individuals believe that it was their decision to heed the pangs of love in their Heart that led them into that unfortunate relationship in the first place. The end result being heartache and disappointment. Like an emotional scar, not unlike a post traumatic situation, it becomes buried within and leads that individual to avoid anything that will cause the pain to re-emerge.  This however is tantamount to shutting down one's Heart and the feelings that emerge from there. I ask you to recall that the Heart is where one's passion for life lives, where one sources one's inner wisdom and most importantly where the Life Force or the Energy of Life enters the physical body. You will recall that when the Heart stops beating then a person is technically dead. It is the organ of Life.
So the consequence to shutting down the feelings in one's Heart is equivalent to suffocating the Life Force that lives inside you and which out of necessity must support you emotionally, mentally, physically and which is spirit itself.
So are you feeling like you're caught between a rock and a hard place i.e. between feeling the heart ache and choosing death? Well that's because that's exactly where you are! So is there a solution to your situation?  Yes!
The only way to end the pain of the Heartache and reclaim your life is to effectively "erase" the memory of it from your mind and body once and for all! This will not only open your Heart it will allow you to reconnect to its true message with great clarity.

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11 July 2014

How To Be A Considerate Stepparent

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4 Real Ways To Make It Work

Are you a stepparent? Are you struggling to make the right decisions for your newly created family? If so, here are four tips to help.

1. Give your blended family a chance to bond.
Don't worry if everyone doesn't settle in right away; bonding takes time. Hopefully, you all got to know each other before you moved in together, but the transition to living comfortably together can take time.

2. Have family meetings weekly.
Give everyone (kids, too) a chance to share how they feel, what they like and don't like, and ask them to share both positive and negative opinions. Invite suggestions about how to make things better. Shared times, such as mealtimes, are important -- but each person needs a break, too. Don't allow the schedule to be too busy -- plan some time off.

3. Get on the same parenting page.
Mom and Dad need to work out parenting methods, rewards, punishments, chores, allowances, bedtimes, homework, etc. Each of your single-parent families is unique, and everyone has to adjust to change. Transition is much easier if the parents are in agreement. If something happens you haven't discussed, just defer to one parent, and work it out later. If you allow the kids to create discord between you, they'll jump on it right away, and make your lives miserable.

4. If you have shared custody with one or more outside parents, resolve any conflicts with them right away.
Ex-spouse struggles can become disasters. You'll all be connected for life. Help the children transition from one household to another by a debriefing when they come home. "How was your visit?".  Then talk about the system at your house.

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25 June 2014

7 Critical Questions Stepdating Couples Should Consider and Ask Each Other

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You have enjoyed the romance and the commitment between you and your companion is steadily deepening. You have now reached the point where the two of you begin talking about how you will introduce your children to your companion.  Are you a single parent getting married, a divorced mom getting remarried, or a widow with adult children? These 7 critical questions will help raise your awareness of the issues to consider.

The next 7 steps will set the tone for the relationship between your children and their future step-parent.  Failure to plan is to plan to fail!

1. How long should I wait before telling the children I am involved in a serious relationship?
There is no easy answer to this question. Remember you are the expert on your own children. Take a moment to consider how your children, even adult children typically react to change.
Are the children flexible and adaptable, slow to accept change, or highly resistant or reactive to any changes in their life and environment?  Spend some time thinking of when your children last experienced a significant change in their lives. What approach did you use that helped each child adapt?  Children need time to grief the loss of their first family or loss of a parent. It takes approximately two years to complete the grieving cycle. So while you may be emotionally ready for a new relationship, your children may still be grieving.

2. What issues should I consider before talking with the children?
The ages, stages of development; and children with special needs require thoughtful planning.  Some parents think that babies and toddlers will not have any significant emotional reaction to having a new person enter their lives. In fact, the opposite is true; even very young babies sense and react to changes.  If your child has special needs is there a time when they should not be distracted by your happy news? Are there important tests or exams that they may already be worried about? For young children and those with cognitive challenges, think carefully about the words you will use to explain your relationship. Children have the strangest ability to misinterpret information.  Some professionals advise that you should not consider remarrying until your children are adults. I do not agree with this at all.

3. Do my adult children require special consideration?
In a word, YES!  Adult children definitely require special consideration. Some older offspring are not always happy when they find out their divorced or widowed parent is ‘dating’ and planning to remarry.  Two adult children in one family may have entirely different reactions: one positive and supportive the other becomes angry and resistant. This creates additional stress for everyone.  Adult children experience similar issues as do dependent children when it comes to step-families. However, they also raise issues that are different from those raised by younger children.

4. We both have children how should we handle the announcement?
If both of you have children will you inform both sets at the same time?  If you tell one group before the other, are you inadvertently setting up a situation where some of the kids are ‘in the know’ before the others?  Those who are told first may feel they are more important in the scheme of things in contrast to the other group. This may breed some resentment, feelings of inequality, and competition between the two groups at some point.  Carefully consider the timing, location, and manner of your announcement. Each parent should inform their children on their own. This will empower the children to express their feeling openly and allow you to respond with understanding and empathy.

5. Do I tell your former spouse or let him find out though the grapevine?
This really depends on your relationship with your former partner. If you are on friendly terms it become less of an issues.  However the children will inform your ‘Ex’ anyway, so it really depends how you would prefer they find out about your romance.  If your former partner is still carrying a torch for you, expect some type of reaction: it may be dismay, anger, and grief.  The manner in which you broach the subject with your Ex may also include planning how to prepare your children for his potential reaction.

6. Are there any other special circumstances I need to consider?
Children often fantasy that their parents will reunite. When they learn there is someone else in your life, they may be resentful, angry, dismayed.  Your announcement may trigger a sense of grief and loss that their hopes and dreams for a reunion are shattered.

7. There are some major changes in the near future should I still tell the children?
Timing is everything. Sensitivity to the underlying feelings associated with upcoming changes is critical.  If your children are already feeling insecure or uncertain you may want to delay the announcement for a while. Try to understand what is worrying them. It is too soon after the divorce or separation? Have the children had an opportunity to complete their grief work? Will the upcoming changes significant and will they challenge your children’s coping skills?  If you have adult children or teenagers what events are happening in their lives that will need to be considered?

Enjoy your romance because once you change the status of your romantic relationship to that of future life partner, you enter into unknown territory.

 The intent of the above 7 critical question is to encourage you to slow down and plan carefully.

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17 June 2014

Becoming An Effective Step Parent


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Today’s family portrait is just as likely to display a blended family as a nuclear family. However, with over 75% of adults with children remarrying and 60% of those marriages ending in divorce, mostly because of the children, indicates that something is desperately wrong.

Blended families today vary widely but what is most common between them is difficulty blending. To be an effective step parent involves a lot of hard work, time, prayer and to be frank, disappointments. The following are a few good tips for starting off down the right path:

1. Just because you are now married does not mean your new spouse should be given automatic rights to discipline your children. Most often, this is the start of family turmoil. The children should only be disciplined by their biological parent. The non-biological parent should serve as support to their spouse. Private conversations between the husband and wife regarding house rules and discipline should occur and agreed upon very early on. They should be shared and followed through with all of the children so they know what to expect, which diminishes feelings of resentment.

2. Spend time with your own children separately. This is especially important in the beginning. It will bring much needed comfort and security to your children. They need to know that they are still a priority in your life. It is very important that separate time with your children is carefully balanced so they don’t become confused about the union of their new family. As for family time, be sure to regularly plan outings and family time together, which fosters the blending process. Make sure these times are used for enjoying one another and bonding, instead of reprimanding for last weeks misbehavior.

3. Do not compete with the parental role of the same sex biological parent. The child needs to know that their step-parent is an addition to their life, not a replacement of their same sex biological parent. Encourage their love and loyalty to the absent biological parent.

4. Lower your expectations. Even after many years, in contrast to nuclear families, most blended families lack family cohesiveness.
 
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10 June 2014

19 Steps to Effective Communication in a Relationship

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1. See communication as an opportunity to praise, build-up, affirm, heal, support and give positive reinforcement, rather than to correct, criticise, tear down, hurt, wound, lash out at. Praise opens doors to further communication, while criticism shuts them down.

2. Remember that actions speak louder than words; non-verbal communication usually is more powerful than verbal communication. Avoid double messages in which the verbal and the non-verbal messages convey something contradictory. (Credibility gap)

3. Define what is important and stress it; define what is unimportant and de-emphasise or ignore it. Avoid fault-finding.

4. Communicate in ways that show respect for the other person's worth as a human being. Avoid statements which begin with the words "You never " or "I think you".

5. Be clear and specific in your communication. Avoid vagueness.

6. Be realistic and reasonable in your statements. Avoid exaggeration and sentences which begin with "You always".

7. Test all your assumptions verbally by asking if they are accurate. Avoid acting until this is done.

8. Recognise that each event can be seen from different points of view. Avoid assuming that other people see things like you do. (Perception)

9. Recognise that your family members and close friends are experts on you and your behaviour. Avoid the tendency to deny their observations about you - especially if you are not sure.

10. Recognise that disagreement can be a meaningful form of communication. Avoid destructive arguments.

11. Be honest and open about your feelings and viewpoints. Bring up all significant problems even if you are afraid that doing so will disturb another person. Speak the truth in love. Avoid sullen silences.

12. Do not put down and/or manipulate the other person with tactics such as ridicule, interrupting, name-calling, changing the subject, blaming, bugging, sarcasm, criticism, pouting, guilt-inducing, etc. Avoid the one-upmanship game.

13. Be more concerned about how your communication affects others than about what you intended. Avoid getting bitter if you are misunderstood.

14. Accept all feelings and try to understand why others feel and act as they do. Avoid the tendency to say, "you shouldn't feel like that."

15. Be tactful considerate and courteous. Avoid taking advantage of the other person's feelings.

16. Ask questions and listen carefully. Avoid preaching or lecturing.

17. Do not use excuses. Avoid falling for the excuses of others.

18. Speak kindly politely and softly. Avoid nagging yelling or whining.

19. Recognise the value of humour and seriousness. Avoid destructive teasing.

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5 June 2014

Single Parent Dating - Making It Easier

Are you a single parent who has decided to give dating another try? Do you know where to start and what to do? Want some good single parent dating advice? Now that you are divorced, annulled or separated, hooking up with other guys may be scary. There are so many "what if", "should I" and  different kinds of doubts running through your mind. You may be too afraid to step out of your  comfort zone because you don't want to get hurt again. Well you should smile. You know why? Because you can make dating happen and it won't even hurt you. Here are some ideas on how to find someone who can accept you and your current situation you are in.


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1. Make time for it.
You should be certain that you have enough time for it. You shouldn't try to go on a date between the soccer game of your child and piano recital of your kids. The guy may think that you don't have time for him. Besides, if you try to squeeze him in then there's a lesser chance for you to get intimate with one another. He understands that you have kids to raise, deadlines to meet in work and all that. You do have to remember though that you need to give room for him. Make it a point to spend time with him without even having to rush all things.

2. Have someone to baby sit your kids.
You should always keep a list of babysitters. You will need them on so-called "surprise dates".  You must have teenagers ready to be called at any given time. They are going to be like on-call doctors. They are ready 24/7. You won't have to worry as to who can take good care of your kids while you  are away. Make sure that you have a babysitter that you can rely on. You should have one that can manage your kids' tantrums and mischievous behavior. It will help your mind be at peace while you are enjoying the night out.

3. Don't be a free rider.
There's a reason why most men don't always enjoy dating single moms. The main reason in their head is that single moms are just looking for men who can take care of their financial problems. Hence, the term free rider. Since you said that you are ready to mingle, you should come prepared. You must not be broke. When both of you are out for a dinner, split the bill in half. It is much better if you willingly pay even though he doesn't want you to shell out cash. At least, you tried. He won't have an impression that you are just after the money. Don't let him feel the burden that he will have to work twice as hard because you have children. Don't let him get that impression. If you are on a tight budget, he doesn't have to take you in a fancy restaurant. Work around your budget. Both of you can just hang out in the coffee shop and talk.
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30 May 2014

5 Key Tips to Successful Single Parent Dating

 Did you know that single parents can go out on a date and have some fun with other people once in a while? Well yes, that is definitely correct. Single parent dating is a good way to release stress and unwind oneself.  Most single parents think that they become selfish when they spare some time for themselves.  Thus, they devote their whole lives attending to their children. However, that mentality is evidently wrong. Single parent dating can help you have a balanced life. Here are some selected single parent dating tips that can help you get started:

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1.  Create a List
Divide a portion of paper into three columns. In the first column, list the qualities you consider 'necessary'. In the middle column, write the qualities you think 'somewhat necessary'. In the last column, write the qualities you believe 'not necessary at all'. This way, you will achieve two things:
first, it will make you become more attentive to people whom you know that possess these qualities; and second, it will prevent you from choosing those people with unnecessary qualities that you don't like.

2.  Inform Your Friends
Let your friends and office mates know the qualities of the person you want to meet. Tell them the kind of person you are interested in dating. As much as possible, be specific with your interest. Then, ask a request from them to observe these qualities from the people encircling you.

3.  Allow Your Friends to Recommend Dates
After informing them of the qualities of the person you wish to have in a date, it is now their turn to suggest persons that may suit you best. Remember, your friends are likely to choose based on the qualities you considered 'necessary'. In every suggestion, allow them to include short descriptions of each person and decide which ones you could enjoy to develop a friendship with.

4.  Be Honest to Your Children
When you are new to single parent dating, there is a possibility that your children will get stressed and feel nervous when you are out of sight. Tell them the truth and let them know that they are your top priority. But, to be a better mom or dad, you must spare time for yourself as well. You need to tell them that they are still the first on your list and their needs are still the most important matter.

5.  Do Not Hasten Things
It is not a good idea for you to allow your kids to spend a day with him or her if this is your first date. It is better if you will keep them separate until you are very sure of your feelings. If the two of you start to get serious, and you feel that he or she might be the one, then introduce him or her to your children.

If you are worried about being a single mom or dad, maybe it's now time to take on a whole new perspective towards single parent dating. Think about the changes it will bring and the happiness that can be found in a good relationship, which you deserve! Bear in mind that these single parent dating tips are not just about the 'right' relationship, it is for your ultimate contentment in life.

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20 May 2014

An Alternative View on Single Parent Dating

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Going through the ordeals of divorce is a traumatic experience. In addition to that, being a single parent with the responsibility of bringing up the children is also stressful. Dating can be a useful means of relaxation. However, there are different perspectives of single parent dating in the society. These perspectives keep on changing with times. Single parent dating can be a pleasurable experience if one makes subtle changes in their outlook towards the entire issue.

An open mind is necessary for making a right decision. Dating should be used as a means of expanding social circle rather than looking for a soul mate. An elite social circle can help in focusing on friendship. One can have a better assessment of people around through this. Depending on this assessment and analysis, a decision can be taken about the future, thus avoiding any disappointment by making poor decisions.
Socializing can also be a refreshing alternative from the busy working schedule. It can be a part of personal self-care plan. Single parents on dating should try to understand the qualities of the partner rather than banking on physical attraction. This is only possible by making friends and can help in determining the future fate of the relationship.

Single parents going for dating have to clearly set their priorities and their expectations from their partner. It is very important to convey this message to the other end so as to avoid any compromise or misunderstandings in the future. If a parent is looking to find someone, one needs to take a bit of risk. One has to come out of the comfort zone so as to socialize and meet various interesting people. Useful options include looking at the church, signing on an online dating service or through word of mouth.

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2 May 2014

Understanding the World of Single Parents Dating Again


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In single Parents Dating, life does not offer perfect family settings that we imagine it should. Sometimes circumstances make us go our separate ways when we notice a missing ingredient. If you are alone again, you should know that you are supposed to walk back into the dating scene but only when you are ready. "Kids are no object" kind of mentality helps a lot in single parent dating.

 Normally as a single parent you will experience confused feelings and fears. Many are the times we ask "Is it me who is supposed to be busy playing the dating game or is it my teenage daughter? "You should not have such an attitude. You are going to afford time to date as well as take care of your family if it becomes one of your agendas. Dating for single parents can invoke guilty feelings. Some people start thinking that they are offending their children while dating.

Single parents who are in the process of gaining support and custody of their children are usually in dangerous emotional conflicts. The confusion, anger and frustration affect most single parents dating. This especially affects fathers who suffer from a condition popularly known as "fathers' depression". This is because they are mostly subjected to paying many child-support bills and the sad part is that they are usually deprived of being with their children as much as they would wish. With the escalating numbers of young girls who are producing babies outside marriage and the sky rocketing divorce cases there are many single parents dating. Dating for single parents is done with some hopes of finding a mate who would help them raise the children. Some single people appreciate the idea of attaining an instant family through marrying a single parent. "Ready made" families are fun to have. Give it a trial. 

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Dating for single parents means being purely selfless. It calls for a lot of perseverance and understanding. Jane who was a never married single lady with no kids got married to a single father of one girl. Soon she started becoming resentful towards her spouse claiming that he was spending most of his time with his ex-wife and the daughter. She felt so threatened that she quit. It all depends on how much the other person is willing to accept the change in responsibilities. Single parents dating should make a routine of communicating through their problems and making compromises. Do not reject your responsibilities as a parent though your partner resents you. Deal with the initial resistance and if it persists consider dropping the relationship.

All single parents want to be good parents to be emulated by their children. Dating for single parents make them fulfilled and this happiness always spill over and is mostly reflected with how they treat their children. They are psychologically prepared for all their children reactions towards their dating. Single parents dating are faced with a bad perception from the children that the new lover is a stranger who is out to sabotage their fantasy. Understand that your children will not be happy with the new catch since he will in one way or another steal some of your attention from them.

30 April 2014

Dating Tips for Women With Children


If you are a single mother, you know how hard it can be to go through life alone with your children.  Although it might not be a priority right away, eventually you will want to start dating and meeting men again. When you get back into the dating world, it is important that you follow these dating advice tips to make things go as smoothly as possible.

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Tip 1: Be up front with your children, depending on how old they are. If they are old enough to understand dating, it is important that you let them know what you are doing.

Tip 2: Be up front about the fact that you have children when you meet someone new. They will let you know right away whether or not they are comfortable dating someone who already has children.

Tip 3: Don't be offended if a guy you meet doesn't want to start a relationship with someone who already has kids. This can be difficult for both parties involved, and it does put more pressure on the relationship.

Tip 4: Decide whether or not you would be okay with having more children with a new mate. A new guy that you are dating might want to have biological children of his own.

Tip 5: Online dating is often the easiest for women who have children. This is one of the best dating advice tips I could give you because it allows you to say you have children up front before anybody even messages you, and you can do this from home without having to find a babysitter.
Dating advice tips are important for women who have children. This will be a big step in your life and in the lives of your children, so it is important that you make your decisions with them in mind.

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22 April 2014

What To Consider When Dating a Single Dad


Dating a man with children can be tricky. Scheduling time alone together, getting along with the kids and learning not to offer parenting advice can be difficult. As a couple, many times you will not be free to do as you wish and you have to be mature enough to understand this. Dating a guy with kids is not for the faint-of-heart, although if you truly love him and his kids, it can have a multitude of rewards. Here are a few things you should know about dating a guy with kids.
When you first start dating a guy with kids, you will probably hear a lot of negative comments from friends and family. They will discourage you from becoming involved with him and tell you things like the kids may not like you, you may have trouble with his ex, you'll never have fun again or you are flat-out ruining your life. Listen, but don't let their advice change your mind if you are truly committed to the relationship. If all works out, his kids can bring great joy to your life.

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Be flexible about your time together

When kids are involved, you never know when an emergency will arise, so you can't always expect plans to go perfectly. Kids get sick, babysitters aren't always available or school projects are suddenly due tomorrow and dad has to help. If the mother is in the picture, there's always the chance she can't take the kids as planned. Try to be flexible about scheduling dates and understand that you won't always come first because your guy has other responsibilities, too.

Bite your tongue about parenting advice

You may have different ideas on parenting than your man but unless he asks for your advice, try to keep it to yourself. He and his ex are responsible for raising their children and you could cause friction between everyone if you tell him how to parent. Until you are involved in the day-to-day raising of his children, keep your advice to yourself unless asked.

Stay on friendly terms with his ex

If you interact at all with the children's mother, be cordial and try to stay on good terms with her. You don't have to become best friends, just be polite when you see her. If your relationship with him and the children continues to grow, you will have to deal with the ex often so staying on good terms will make life easier. If she dislikes you anyway, just ignore her. Never talk about her in a negative way to the children and just stay out of her way, if possible, to keep the peace.

Don't take it personally if his child dislikes you

You can be the nicest, coolest person on the planet, but if a child decides he isn't going to like you, there is little you can do. Your guy's child has probably experienced either the breakup of his parents or of one or more of his father's girlfriends, so he may not want to get close to you for a long time. Or he may see you as competition for his own mother. Whatever the problem is, it is something the child needs to resolve in his own time. Be polite to the child, don't get caught up in his anger and just wait it out. He will probably come around eventually.

Suggest not meeting his kids for at least 6 months

When you get involved with a man with children, you are involved with him and the children. Waiting to meet the children until after your relationship together is strong is best. That way, if you both decide to call it quits, the children haven't already become attached to you and won't feel the pain of the breakup, too.

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13 April 2014

Live A Full Life As A Single Parent

Single Parents often suffer at the hands of an empty social life. Busy days juggling work and children can pave the way for lonely, empty nights in front of the TV. Then there are school holidays, a  stressful time for parents if they are home or away.  Single parent holidays are not widely advertised, but with such a vast growth in single parent families, this is the kind of service single parents are  crying out for.  Nearly a quarter of children lived with only one parent last year and nine out of 10 of those households were headed by lone mothers. People need a way to feel supported and be able to reach out to other single parents who are struggling in the same position. Community sites for single parents are a great way to do this.

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It is easy to make friends with other members of community sites and many websites organise days out and accompanied holidays where you can meet up with new friends. Going on holiday can be a daunting time for a single parent with booking flights and accommodation, organisation of the kids and altogether stressful travel. There is also the fact that once the kids are off enjoying themselves it leaves little stimulation for you. Hardly an appealing break. That is where community sites specializing in single parenting can lend a hand. Single parent holidays offered by social networking sites take the pressure off by planning trips to suit holiday goer's individual needs. They cater for small and large families and as a member of a large group, child care becomes easier. This is not the only benefit. Going on holiday with new people can kick start firm friendships. Single parent  holidays also often play a part in bringing couples together, resulting in new relationships.

Single parent dating can be a much harder page to navigate than general dating. Childcare must be arranged and there is simply less time to spend dating than in the past. Many people are scared off by the thought of starting a relationship with someone who has dependents. Children can also be a difficult subject to raise over dinner on a first date and potentially, not the perfect ice breaker. Parents also often feel left out of the "adult world" due to the constraints of parenthood. Often the time is spent between work and taking care of the children rather than going out with friends or dates. Single parent sites can help to alleviate many of these problems. Dating through a widely used social networking site enables single parents to meet like-minded people and eventually to meet up as part of a group. With the help of the internet, single parents can stop feeling alone and learn that there are many others out there in the same boat who need just as much support. Get involved with single parent holidays and single parent dating by using social networking sites and kick start a new social life today.

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25 March 2014

Fun Dating Ideas For Single Parents

There is a reason that dating is pressure filled. Dating is the ritual people go through in order to find someone to settle down with. Sure some people view dating as a fun way to pass the time but for  most, dating comes paired with "is he/she the one?" pressure.
This pressure is intensified when one of the parties in the dating duo is a single parent. Dating a single parent and dating as a single parent is very different than dating as a single person. This is why so many of you are searching for dating ideas for single parents and single parents date suggestions.
  
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The best approach to dating when a single parent is involved is to go for the easy and relaxed "getting to know you" types of dates instead of the "how much can we impress each other?" types of dates. Here are a few standards that should work well for those of you who want to find dating ideas for single parents.

 1. Dinner and a (optional) Movie.
There is a reason that dinner and a movie is a classic date. It is easy, it is affordable (or it used to be, movies are kind of expensive these days) and it provides both parties with a distraction if the conversation starts to wane. When dating a single parent set it up as an easy dinner with the option for seeing a movie if the dinner part goes well. If things are awkward or you do not click at dinner you can go your separate ways, no mess no fuss! A good idea for this type of date is to get together for an early dinner and a movie: the movie tickets will be cheaper and it is a lot easier to find a baby sitter when the date takes place in the late afternoon or early evening.


2. Picnic Lunch
Lunch time dates are, at their cores, more relaxed than dinner dates. If you are searching for dating ideas for single parents, suggest a lunch date that is close to where you both work. To save some money suggest a lunch break picnic in which you meet at a location that is near both of your workplaces and to which you each bring your own lunch! This will save you both some money and takes away a lot of the pressure that comes from having dinner. It also gives you an easy out if the lunch date does not go well-you both have to get back to work!

3. Coffee
A type of date which can be short or linger into a couple of hours, depending how the conversation and company turn out.  Choose a public place, where you will feel safe.

The best way to approach dating ideas for single parents to err on the side of relaxation and ease. There is no reason to rush into a relationship. Take time to get to know each other and do not put pressure on each other for a second date. Let it be well known that you are both trying to take things as they come. If you get along you'll go out again, if not, then that's okay too!

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18 March 2014

Do Teenagers Have a Problem With Their Single Parent Dating Again?


Most single parents are just as uncomfortable with dating as their teenage children are about their parent dating. It takes about a year to adjust the emotional baggage of a divorce for kids and adults. Some parents jump right into dating while others avoid dating altogether. It is a good idea to take it slow and move that emotional baggage around one bag at a time. Dating can wait as the interests and emotions of maturing teens particularly in the custodial home must come first.



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Parents are role models and teens are still way too vulnerable to anger and frustration if their fears are not addressed by both parents.  Most teenagers are repulsed by their parent's sexuality. A new partner then brings unwanted changes and morality becomes an issue that must be modeled by the parent at this time. It is critical to communicate with teenagers about their feelings. This will validate their value and give them the security they desperately need in a newly broken home. Teens will also wrestle with parental loyalty issues as their single parents begin dating. Teens are still trying to mature emotionally already and divorce adds a tone of problems to their lives. While they are still maturing on the outside, they are sill young children on the inside. Tread tenderly around your budding adult, with respect.

Teenagers will think that single parents are behaving like adolescents when they begin dating and roles can be reversed at this time. The teenager will act like the adult while the adult is acting like a kid. Kids can also feel shut out during this parental dating phase. They wonder if they are still important to their dating single parent. They are also beginning to wrestle with the emotional baggage of life with their biological two-parent family ending. Kids need their parents to spend time with them. It is important not to forget the relationships with the children while pursuing a new one with a lover. Be very discreet.

Teenagers will even help a new relationship along if they think their dating single parent does not have a clue. They are also great at sabotaging any new attempt to date. Some teens will even try to get their parents back together. Mainly, kids just want to know that they are still loved. They are still not as old as they look or pretend to be. Kids are dealing with underlying fear and anxiety. Every family must find the emotional balance that is unique to each.
 
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15 March 2014

Focus On Expanding Your Social Circle Instead of "Finding a Mate."

If you feel anxious about not being in a relationship, it may be time to adopt a whole new attitude toward single parent dating. Consider how these small changes could alter your perspective and help you enjoy the full, rich life you deserve.  Focus on expanding your social circle instead of "finding a mate."

Change your definition of what it means to have an active social life. When you focus on finding "the one," you're bound to put a lot of pressure on yourself. This can have two negative effects: First, it can cause you to make poor decisions; and, second, it can lead to unnecessary disappointment with an otherwise fulfilling life.

When you place your attention on expanding your social circle, though, you free yourself from that pressure. This enables you to focus on friendships and being with people who encourage and bring joy to your life.

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Build each potential relationship on friendship, not just attraction.
Chances are, you pretty much know immediately whether you are attracted to someone or not. Rather than allowing only physical attraction to define your relationship, though, focus on really getting to know one another and exploring your common interests. This may require discipline and even some restraint. However, taking the time to get to know someone as a friend will allow you to see their best and worst qualities with clarity and make objective decisions about the potential of your relationship.

Be Confident
Take some risks. If you have serious hopes about enjoying a meaningful relationship, you're going to have to do some things you might not ordinarily do, in order to maximize your social opportunities. For some people this means being bold enough to initiate a conversation while standing in the checkout line. For others, it means going back to church, signing up with an online dating service, or putting the word "out" among friends that you'd like you find someone. Certainly you should never do something that makes you uncomfortable or that compromise your integrity. However, taking small risks that place you just outside your comfort zone can put you in a good position to meet many new and interesting people.

Make your social life part of your self-care plan.
To say you are "extremely busy" working and raising your children is an understatement. In fact, you may even feel like you just don't have time to date. If that's the case, I'd encourage you to think of socializing as part of taking care of yourself. You deserve to get out and socialize now and then. Spending some time away from your home and work responsibilities can be a refreshing part of honoring who you are and getting to know yourself again. Rather than feeling guilty about social engagements, view them as a part of your personal self-care plan.

You are worth waiting for the right relationship.
Finally, don't compromise. You're not looking for someone who treats you well "most" of the time, makes you feel "somewhat" important, or has "a little bit" of respect for the work you do in the world. You are worth more than that. If you haven't believed that until now, then this is the time to throw away your old thinking habits and adopt a new attitude concerning your worth as a friend, a dating companion, and potentially as a mate.

7 March 2014

Get Back To Dating - Now That You Are A Single Parent

Dating as a single parent is a very scary proposition. The real act of dating is probably less daunting than the thought of getting out there and back into the dating game is.
Whether one is a single parent due to divorce or death, or even by design, dating is something that needs to be thought about carefully and you need to make sure that you are ready for it.
If the thought of dating again is terrifying you but you realize that you do need some adult company and would like to go out for dinner with someone other than your mother or your best friend, or to a movie which is not for those who are not yet in their teens, here are a few tips to change your mindset and make it easier.

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How to change your mindset about single parent dating -
Change your focus

- Having an active social life does not necessarily mean that you have to concentrate on finding "the one" - that would involve far too much pressure.
- Rather look at dating as expanding your social circle, which automatically relieves you of any pressure.
- This change of mindset frees you up to just have fun and enjoy being with people who bring joy and positivity into your life.

A personal self-care plan
- Being a single parent is difficult and does not leave much time to date... or does it?
- If you feel that you cannot take time out to date, then try to think of dating as part of your self care program.
- Being a parent does not mean that you should lose your own identity; a happy parent is a better parent.
- Getting out and having fun is a way of honouring yourself and will boost your psychological health and self-esteem.

Friendship is important
- Most of us know when we meet someone whether we are attracted to them or not.
- The problem is that many of us allow the physical attraction to define the relationship, and when that fades there is nothing left.
- Try to focus on establishing a friendship with the other party and get to know them and let them get to know you; explore common interests and just have fun.
- By seeing someone else at their worst and their best, one can make an informed decision as to whether there is a potential relationship there or not.

Be Courageous
- If you feel that you are ready to date again, you may have to be very bold and put yourself out there.
- It will be difficult to put yourself back into the dating pool, but you need to take steps to maximise your social interaction opportunities.
- This could be easier to get into by doing chatting to friends and getting them to set up some dates for you in a group setting or joining a dating site, or even joining a single parent group.
- Put yourself a bit outside your comfort zone and reap the benefits.

Don't Compromise
- Remember you are worth getting to know and need not settle for second-best, so don't!
- You deserve to have someone who pays attention to you and treats you in the way that you deserve to be treated - like royalty!
- Never compromise; decide what you want out of a relationship and settle for nothing less than that.

So, now that you have a different mindset and realize that just because you are a single parent does not mean that you have to stay single and never go out or have any fun, shake out the problems, shrug off the self-doubt and get out your dancing shoes!

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25 February 2014

Dating As a Single Parent - Helpful Hints That Can Make It Successful


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As a single parent, looking for a new romance can be something of a minefield.  Not only is it necessary to find time to fit a brand new romantic relationship into your life, but you need to to look for somebody who will equally accommodate your children.  If a person is simply not happy to accept both you and your kids as the full package, then you could be wasting your precious time with the wrong date which will most probably leave you ending up being heart broken.

Here are the 3 golden rules, to make sure almost any new romance you take on, as a single parent, brings about a happy ending.
Rule 1: Do not ever rush straight into introducing your date to your kids
Introducing your kids to your completely new date is often a nerve wracking thing to do, however, it does not matter how much you think you like them, never rush into introducing your children to them, too early into the relationship.
Get to know your date to start with and make sure that this is a relationship that you feel is going to go somewhere, before you introduce them to your children. Communicate with your date about your kids and talk to your children about your date, in order that they both get accustomed to the other at a distance.

Rule 2: You should have free time alone with your date for you to focus on your romance
You need time by yourself together with your date to get to know each other and start to build a relationship. You must have evenings out with each other and time to enjoy each others company so you can get to know each other without the children around.

Rule 3: Your children are still important, try to make time for the kids
In all of the delight associated with a completely new relationship remember to create time for your own children. You do not want is to do is drive your kids away from you just so you can make way for a new romance in your life.
Your children need to always be reassured that any completely new date is not going to take you away from them. Spending time with your children and also reassuring them that you will always be around for them, will only help them to settle into any new family dynamic.

How can you find this all important date?  CLICK HERE to meet Single Parents
A very common way to find brand new partnerships is by using online dating sites. A large number of single parents are not aware though, that in the internet dating world there are specialist single parent dating sites that cater specifically for single parents.
The benefit to this is that you are not just connecting to a group of like minded people who are all looking for relationships, but they also have an understanding of an added aspect of combining dating with children.

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18 February 2014

Finding a Compatible Partner as a Single Parent


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Single parent are certainly interested in gaining a specific goal when they sign on to a single parent dating site. Namely, they will want to connect with someone that is highly compatible with them. This is where a single parent dating service can prove to be so helpful. It assists in presenting an effective component of compatibility for those that require a very specific niche in the dating realm.
There are many different types of online dating sites emerging on the internet . While the basic structure of these online communities does not change, the niches that they promote will vary.

With single parent online dating services, the members can be reassured in the notion that the person you meet will be the right kind of person. The most important aspect being that you need to take care of your children as well as your other social pursuits such as dating.  Again, this will greatly aid in boosting issues related to compatibility and make the entire dating venture one that might prove to be an overall positive one.
As much as we would prefer not to think about it, the fact remains that there are those individuals that simply are not interested in dating someone who is a parent. This is not because they dislike children nor have other problematic issues. It simply means they are not effective partners for those with kids.  Understanding and accepting this fact may be helpful in avoiding a potentially problematic dating experience, and further hurt in the future.

Once again, compatibility is the key when it comes to single parent online dating. On the other side of the coin, when you invest in a membership with a single parent online dating site, you will be connected to those singles that are specifically looking for others that do have children.  Often, such individuals are single parents themselves which means that they are decidedly more open to dating someone that shares their situation. Their experience with being a parent makes them an excellent partner for others that have the same life experience.

SINGLE PARENTS waiting to meet You

Does this mean that everyone that signs on with a single parent dating site is a single parent him or herself? Although the vast majority of the people on the site are actually parents it does necessarily mean that all member are parents. Regardless of whether or not the person is a parent, the key factor of the members is that they are comfortable dating those who are.
Of course, meeting someone on a single parent dating site increases the odds that the kids will be receive the person in a much more positive manner. Children will feel more comfortable around someone that is more comfortable around them. This is a cause and effect component to such dating that will contribute to the overall dating experience is a positive one.
 
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